Faires Family in Franklin

Beatrice starts growling during production week

2009-05-01T23:12:00.000-07:00

Here's what we're up to:

Our garden is really growing! I have been eating arugula with egg salad for lunch (when I am home). Beatrice and I go out to the garden with the pretty red colonder and pick arugula and spinach for salad. Boy, can that arugula grow. Beatrice does not eat the salad unless I trick her.
Oh, and the strawberries. Oh man. For a little while, something was eating my strawberries, just as they got ripe. Maybe a rabbit. But now, it's Beatrice. Oh! It just kills me. We have had careful conversations about not picking strawberries until they start turning red. I thought I had really gotten through to her, but yesterday she picked a big fat, white strawberry and ran over to me saying, "Mama! It's pink!"
We are number 4 on the waiting list for our referral. It feels so surprising that after all of this running around, that some day soon, our case worker will call us and say, "Mr. and Mrs. Faires, do you want to look at some pictures of your boys?"
Ethiopia has the worst health care system in the world. They are dead last. The ratio of doctors to people is staggering. It's something like one to every 500,000 people. That's a big deal. I can go to Vanderbilt, and they will send my health insurance company the bill. Unreal, you know?
I'm directing a musical this semester. It's Fiddler on the Roof, and it's full of really nice songs and dances. It's satisfying to be able to use some of the skills I sort of touched on in college to work on the lighting design and sound. It's satisfying work, but it's just so much work! I do it because it's so great to see a project begin at nothing and turn into a magical night at the theater. It's also great to be able to watch the actors progress. I feel like a proud mama when I see them start getting their characters, and letting go of their embarassment to enjoy their performance.
My secret nerdy pleasure: I get to play the flute in the orchestra pit. No one ever asks me to be in their orchestra, so I asked myself to be in my own orchestra. The music seemed so wonderfully hard when I first started playing it. I just sat down with it idly, not thinking that I could ever play it. But I can! Seriously, it's so much fun to play the flute again. And it's great to get to play with other musicians. I still remember the incredible feeling of playing in a symphony--all you have to do is play your one little part, but you are a part of creating this fantastic music. I have really missed it. I also get to play the piccolo, which is like playing a toy.
Beatrice is lately loving puzzles. It's her superpower. She has a puzzle of the US, and she can put in all the pieces. Where's South Dakota? Just ask Beatrice.

There. That's blogsy.

Photography Fundraiser for our Adoption

2009-03-22T06:44:00.000-07:00

If you live in Michigan, today is your lucky day.

Mattson photography is donating:

"Name your own Price" Photography Sessions

March 30-April 2, 2009

Yes please. Here are the details:

During those days 100% of the money you spend on photography helps bring 2 little guys finally home to Mom & Dad. And you get to set your own price for the session. Portrait sessions are usually $200, but we're asking folks to just give what they can.

The session includes 1 hour of photography, a disk of high-res images, and copyrights to the pictures so you can make your own prints.

E-mail karen@mattsonpictures.com to set up your appointment and please feel free to spread the word!!

Ok. This is serious, because her work is breathtaking. Karen is one of my dearest friends from high school and then we both moved to Franklin to attend a college that turned out to be some of the most fun you can have south of the Mason-Dixon. Karen moved back to the land of the north and married her true love, but I fell in love with the bearded wonder and just had to stay in Tennessee.

If you live in Michigan, go get a great photography session! If you live in Tennessee, enjoy the 70 degree weather this week. (I'm not saying it's cold in Michigan. I'm just saying there's no place like the central time zone.)

Spring Break in Alabama

2009-03-22T05:31:00.000-07:00

We went to visit our good friends, the Caucutts, this week. We just can't resist when they send us an invitation to visit because we always come away with a new appreciation for the joys of a quiet home life.

I took this picture through the kitchen window, hence the screen, but this is what things look like when Caleb is around his best friend. They just dig in. I think they talked about all the things Caleb has been saving up for the last year. The Caucutts also have really good books. I always find myself reading when I visit.

While in Birmingham, we naturally went to Dreamland. And naturally Amy and Joanna were there too.

Beatrice and Hector Caucutt. It's so much fun to see Beatrice around little boys. I can't hardly believe the differences between boys and girls. It's so interesting to see my careful, orderly little girl confronted with little boys who really know how to celebrate life by engaging with grass, and rocks, and water, and food. I'm just facinated by how much sex matters, even as a toddler, and how much personality shows already.

At the Birmingham Botanical Gardens

Beatrice putting rocks in my pockets, so we could be sure to have them later.

She's been telling folks lately that it's dark in their nose. She just looks up your nose and declares it dark. Yes.

Here we are, on the road again, singing along to Johnny Cash. Beatrice sings, "Me babe, no, no, no!" with gusto.

The greatest adventure is being born...

2009-03-17T19:26:00.001-07:00

We planted a wonderful garden in our front yard. Everyone else in our neighborhood has flowers and other reasonable things like shrubbery. But we have red onions and arugula and broccoli and spinach and strawberries. We are so dirty. My fingernails are still not clean. We are having a great time digging in the dirt. Caleb built a little brick bridge to keep the weeds out, and to keep Beatrice out of the garden. She walks back and forth on her bridge with serious intensity.

Oliver came over to spend the afternoon and he and Bea just couldn't find a way to fall asleep in the same room. But as soon as I brought him downstairs and put him in the nest of brown bear, he fell sweetly asleep. He stayed that way until after Caleb came home and we just quietly went about our business.

Beatrice and I took a walk on a cold day and she got tired towards the end of the walk and began to suck her fingers for comfort. Ew. The glove was soaked when I took it off her little hand.

They are doing just exactly what it looks like they are doing. Oliver came over and right after breakfast he ran into the living room, climbed on the couch and said, "Bea, come and watch the show!" I have no idea why he would say that. I'm sure no one lets him watch tv at home. Anyway, I felt like I suddenly needed to make a show happen for my little guest. So I scrounged around and found this. Ten points for Tim Gunn if you can name the movie.

We dress Beatrice in Titans paraphernalia. Because we do care about sports.

Progress of Papers

2009-03-17T14:54:00.000-07:00

We mailed our dossier to Washington, D.C. and paid a sweet little courier service to hand carry it between the Ethiopian Embassy and the US Department of State. I think it's amazing that if you pay someone enough they will walk around, carry your papers, and take care of you.

The courier mailed our dossier to CWA in North Carolina. We sent money from a few different places and made sure all of our agency fees were paid. Then they sent our dossier to Ethiopia and put us on the waiting list for our children.

Now, all we have to do is wait and a referral will come. How wonderful and easy. I know waiting is sometimes painful, but I am happy to simply wait.

Yesterday we went to get our immunizations. We still need to go back and get more done, but this time we got Typhoid fever, Hep A, Hep B, Polio, and DPT. We went to this wonderful clinic of nurses and doctors that volunteer once a month to give immunizations to people in ministry or going on humanitarian trips. We were going to pay $1400 at the Vanderbilt International Travel Clinic, but we are going to end up pay around half of that. It's wonderful for people to take care of each other like that. This is how the church should run, and then we wouldn't need the govenment to take care of the poor, etc. I'm just saying.

I talked to our new case worker at CWA early this week. She told me some really interesting statistics about my waiting time for a referral. Right now there are about 25 families with CWA who are waiting to get referrals. We are not the last people on this list. About half of them are waiting for girls, and half for boys. There are 3 or 4 other families who are waiting for twins (or sibling groups). One family wants a boy and a girl, the other wants two girls. We get referrals based on when we got on the waiting list and also based on whether a family is a good match for a child.

What a difficult job for the CWA staff. They look at photographs and medical records of a child and then decide where that child should live. They get it that God is in control, or else, I don't think they would be able to make decisions like that without suffering constant self-doubt.

Anyway, we are excited. It's like being pregnant.

Dancing with my husband

2009-02-08T18:08:00.000-08:00

I just don't know where to begin. It was a wonderful day; it felt sort of like a wedding. Everybody was gathered together, wishing us well, there was good music, good food and lots of kids. That's kind of what a wedding feels like.

It also felt like a new stage of our life was starting. It felt very public, so it brought home to me that all our friends know that we are trying to adopt, and they all approve and want to help. For us, the money we raised really moved us from "how are we ever going to do this?" to "I think this is really going to happen!".

The money. I was really hoping we would raise $1500. To me that seemed a fair estimate. But lots of people paid more than $12 for their $12 tickets, then folks started outbidding each other at the silent auction and some items sold for even more than their value! But the extravagant giving that topped it all off was the Mathenys--they donated all the food. This was unexpected. When we heard, Caleb and I looked at each other and didn't know what to say.

It's a funny feeling to receive a huge gift of which we are terribly unworthy. I think the feeling of unworthiness in the face of unmerited love is important. I mean, it's the gospel. We don't deserve God's grace. The Mathenys and our community are teaching us about the love of God. We are so humbled.

Right. Our total money raised for the whole fundraiser is $5000! We are quietly stunned.

Let me tell you what this means:
We have already paid $7000 in adoption costs. Our current bill to CWA is $14,570

We have a matching grant from Lifesong that will match up to $4000. So, through Lifesong, our $5000 becomes $9000.

We have $2000 from other donations/money saved/etc.

That brings us to $11,000.

That means we are only $3570 short. My husband doesn't think we should completely empty our savings account (he's very keen on not going bankrupt), but we are really, really close! I can't believe we are only $3500 short of $14,000! I feel like we really have crossed the great divide from impossible to possible.

And if all that wasn't great enough news, I really sat down tonight to examine what we have paid so far, and what exactly we needed to pay after the big $14,000. You won't believe what I learned. Not counting airfare (which could be anywhere from $2000-$3500), every other expense for the adoption is $3000!

So after we pay our big $14,000, we will only have to come up with $6000 more! That means that to totally complete our adoption we have to raise just under $10,000 more. And we're done! God is so good, and we are seeing that with him anything is possible!

I'll try to post pictures soon.

Elbow deep in bowtie pasta

2009-02-07T19:12:00.000-08:00

A few months ago we were brainstorming ways to raise money for our adoption. We were talking with our friends Will and Judy Matheny and they offered to serve a meal as a fundraiser. I was thinking it would be really nice and maybe 50 people would come.

Then people started getting ideas.

Maureen thought we should do a silent auction, Judy thought we should really try to get a lot of people to come, and Raechel suddenly seemed keen to organize things. So we started asking businesses and friends to donate things, and students started helping us sell tickets. I don't know what those students did, but it really worked. We have sold almost 200 tickets in three weeks. And we have collected almost $6000 in donated items for the silent auction.

Maureen and Judy both suggested live music, and Terry Comer's bluegrass band, Dave Dillard, and Wes King are all going to play. We can't believe what a fun party started forming because of all the good ideas and help of our friends.

Today as we prepared the food in the Matheny's big kitchen, Caleb and I kept looking at each other thinking, "This is really going to happen! We are one step closer to bringing our babies home!"

Donations on a Snow Day

2009-01-29T15:07:00.001-08:00

There are two parts to the Adoption Lunch Fundraiser: sell tickets for lunch, and find fun things to sell in the silent auction.

I can only focus on one part at a time. So I trying to work on the gathering part. And since yesterday was a snow day, (And a good thing too, boy, those roads were treacherous) Beatrice stayed home with Papa and I took my chance.

Joanna and Amy helped me gather more cool stuff for the silent auction yesterday. Folks are generally glad to do what they can.

I think that people mostly want to be generous and like to be a part of good endeavors. We only had one rude encounter.

The rude encounter went something like this:

Me (nervously): Hi, my husband and I are adopting two boys from Ethiopia and we are having a silent auction to raise money. Would you be willing to donate anything for our auction?

Fancy Boutique Lady (not looking at me): We don't really do that kind of thing, but you are welcome to look around the store and see some of our fancy french fashions, we are having lots of sales. We have a lot of expenses and don't really give to charity. I'm sure it's a very nice thing to give to charity.

Me (feeling stupid): Oh. Ok. Thanks. Should I just leave my letter here on the table?

Fancy Boutique Lady (still never having looked at me): If you want. You look poor and shabbily dressed, you should probably buy some fancy clothes. And your friend looks too tall. She should think about that and consider making a change.

Ok, I don't remember exactly what she said. But that is something like it, maybe. She made me and Joanna feel generally shabby and unimportant. I want to remember to look at people when they are talking to me.

God help us all.

Nevertheless, here's a few of the donations we got yesterday for the silent auction:

$50 for The Boiler Room Theater

3 free oil changes at Gateway Tire

4 free studio visits to Third Coast Clay

The government finds us fit

2009-01-29T14:32:00.000-08:00

It has been determined by the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services that we are able to furnish proper care for two orphans from Ethiopia.

This is the first step in the adoption immigration process. It's called the I-600A form, and it costs $830 just to apply for it.

Because we are approved for the I-600A, the U.S. Government has sent our pre approval to the embassy in Addis Ababa for visas for two orphans! Visas are good.

Pastries or Babies?

2009-01-25T21:17:00.000-08:00

We are completely and seriously finished with our adoption paperwork and I thought I would just have to sit on it like an egg until I had the money to send it in. Instead I learned this week that the agency will start proofing the paperwork now, so that when I send the money they will send it to Ethiopia. (Hip, hip....)

(Hooray!) Such lovely news, because it means we can keep moving forward. I am going to make a proud trip to the post office tomorrow.

We sold more tickets to the adoption fundraiser lunch. And I stood with Lizzie (charming dancer of a girl) in the cold vestibule and we smiled and smiled, as friends stopped by to buy tickets. When doing something awkward, like asking for money, it's nice to have a friendly girl to stand 'longside.

We can only sell 200 tickets, and I am working on counting how many we have sold so far. I am praying that we will sell every single ticket.

As I struggle with the miserable uncomfortable feelings that accompany asking people for money, I keep reminding myself of two sweet little babies without a family. It's unbelievable that all I have to do is raise a little money and I can make a huge change in two real lives. God has called us to do an amazing thing! And now it's only money that stands in our way.

This helps me have a different perspective on money. It makes me think differently about dresses, fancy soaps (so addicted!), and eating out. When I see something lovely in a store it just pales in comparision with the joy and value of adoption that I am anticipating.

It also makes cinnamon rolls at the Franklin Mercantile seem like absolutely wonderful forbidden fruit. I love to buy, eat and savor them, but I just can't when I think "hmmm...pastry or babies?"

Love Letters in Wintertime

2009-01-21T23:13:00.000-08:00

Turns out lots of people want to defend the fatherless! We are so excited by the response to our adoption.

We have some sweet girls helping us sell tickets for our fundraiser lunch (on February 8th) and yesterday somebody bought three tickets, but paid $100 for them! We are so humbled and floored by such kind generosity.

Raechel and I trooped around downtown Franklin and asked businesses to donate things and every business (except one, and she was very kind) said they wanted to help. Mellow Mushroom was able to give us a gift card on the spot!

All of the help and enthusiastic support makes me feel like we are going to be able to get these babies and bring them home soon.

My dossier is copied and labelled and sealed in an envelope. It's sitting in our living room all full of promise. It reminds me of getting a love letter in the mail, but not reading it right away. Instead tucking it into my coat and waiting for the right moment. And for all that time between tucking it in my coat and reading it, savoring the happy little expectation of good things to come.

I think our dossier is like a little love letter that will bring good things...but not just yet.

Something to Celebrate

2009-01-21T23:00:00.000-08:00

Today was Bea's second birthday. We decorated with paper chains.

Grandma gave Bea a doll with every imaginable doll accouterment. Here Bea is enjoying the doll pacifier while keeping a wary eye on Oliver.

The menfolk in crowns and enjoying traditional celebratory fare: calzones.

A birthday girl holding a bouquet of balloons. We are so grateful for her.

Adoption Fundraiser

2009-01-18T20:34:00.000-08:00

On February 8th we are hosting a lunch to raise money for our adoption. We will feast at the Methodist Church on 5th Ave. Providence Farms is catering and we will have fun live music. So far we have a bluegrass band and some Dillards playing celtic music.

When Caleb got word that the musicians would play I suddenly really wanted to go to this party. I've always wanted to go to a party and listen to bluegrass music. I hope I can dance (quietly, in a corner, so as not to embarass my husband).

We are also having a silent auction. We have lots of good ideas and we are going to make some gutsy requests to local businesses. (I'm not great at gutsy requests, even when I call Raechel to ask her to babysit Beatrice I start with, "So, how is your day going? Do you have plans?")

So far our coolest items in the silent auction are:
1 teeth whitening (seriously!)
a piano tuning

I need help collecting things for the silent auction. If you have something you want to donate-email me. (Ok, on most blogs, when you want to include a link, folks can do this fancy thing and make any words be the hyperlink. Like "If you want to see a picture of my husband asleep, click on that word back there." I don't know how to do that.) Here's my email address: rebeccafaires@gmail.com

I also need folks to come to the lunch to enjoy the food, dance (it could happen) and silent auction. So, tell your friends! Tickets are $12 per person.

People are buying tickets, volunteering to help and generally smiling when I talk about the fundraiser. It's so exciting. We are going to get to bring these babies home!

It is right to give Him thanks and praise!

Adoption Paperwork

2009-01-18T05:59:00.000-08:00

The first part of the adoption process is paperwork.

You have to compile all your important documents: birth certificates, marriage license, proof of employment--and get them notarized.

Then you have to put together new documents: a letter to the government explaining why you want to adopt, a photo collage of your family, passport photos, specific request for specific age and sex of child, and all sorts of intent-to-do-good-and-continue-doing-good forms.

You need to get several background checks. We had to get fingerprinted twice. It's quite a tender experience. Someone gentle takes your hand in hers, carefully moistens each finger, then lovingly dries each finger. And one at a time, as sweetly as your mother, presses each finger on the glass plate. All the while speaking softly about who knows what. Now that I think of it, I wouldn't mind getting fingerprinted again, although Caleb pointed out that this will officially end any future we had in crime now that the FBI has our fingerprints on file.

You have to ask your friends to write reference letters, and then notarize them. The trouble is, the reference letters have to say really specific things and so the reference letters come with all these caveats: do say how responsible we are with money, but don't say too much about Christ, etc. We are very grateful for the kindly crafted reference letters.

And finally you have to get two particularly important papers notarized, authenticated and then double authenticated by the Secretary of State. I had to do this twice because I did it wrong the first time. I'm trying to take it in stride.

Every time I went somewhere official to get adoption paperwork, signed, printed, authenticated, whatever, Beatrice would put on a show. She would put on the "How Can My Parents Be Fit For Adoption When They Have No Control Over Me?" show. It is a spectacular show. It involves refusing to go through doorways, dumping full beverages, and general wild screaming.

The Beatrice Show keeps me humble. Otherwise, I might waltz into the County Clerk office feeling like, "Yes, I am a great person, I'm going to adopt poor children from Africa". Instead I feel like, "Dear God, please help me keep Beatrice from emptying the contents of my purse into the lap of the county clerk."

little adventures in contentment

2009-01-13T08:25:00.000-08:00

We got a new mailbox.

We used to need a key to unlock our mail from big box we shared with our neighbors. The new mailbox is black and shiny and grown up. We had to wait for six weeks for the postman to stop delivering mail to the old lock box, and when mail finally appeared in the new boxes the neighbors were shouting congratulations to each other.

"Have you checked your box? You'd better!"

It was an exciting day for us.

Today while Bea napped, I noticed men outside at the old mail box. They were standing one on each side, reefing the big box back and forth.

Sasha and I went outside. I put on Caleb's big muck boots and we walked to our new box. Just to check the mail.

I find it's easier to stare at interesting things when Beatrice is awake and with me. I can stand there and pretend I am educating the baby. It's hard to stand and stare and act like you are educating a greyhound.

But we stared, standing there at the new mailbox. I bent over and looked deep into the box twice to make sure I hadn't missed any mail.

The men pulled the big old mailbox right out of the ground. And now that I look out the window, it's gone.

I hated that thing.

Beatrice

2009-01-12T14:48:00.000-08:00

Self addressed stamped envelopes

2009-01-12T14:40:00.000-08:00

I found some unopened letters, with self-addressed, stamped envelopes inside. These letters were addressed to me. The is something so tragically poetic about the double loss of having one's letter go unread and unanswered. A self-addressed, stamped envelope is a symbol of hope.
I mean, you already spent the 42 cents.

Christmas Pictures

2009-01-03T08:35:00.000-08:00

It's hard to get Beatrice and Oliver to hold still after sitting though a church service!

2009-01-03T08:31:00.000-08:00

Christmas Letter

2009-01-03T08:29:00.000-08:00

13 December 2008
Franklin, Tennessee

Dear Friends,

We hope this letter finds you joyful and hopeful for a new year. We are rejoicing this Advent season for family and friends. Caleb and I have enjoyed a busy year, and we want to share stories about our family, our work and our adoption with you.

Early this year, our church opened up some studio space to Caleb in their building. We have spent years alternately scheming and pining for studio space so he could have a quiet and safe place to paint, sculpt and draw. So we are incredibly grateful for this little room. Caleb has tried to create art at the kitchen table, but we have found that graphic artistry and culinary artistry don't mix well. Now that he has this little room (with two windows!) at the church, he has been able to take some more freelance work and he has been drawing the cover art for our church worship folders. We love our little church and have enjoyed singing in the choir. We have started to notice that when we sing in the car, Beatrice just can't resist singing along. She sings loudly and shamelessly right along with us, blithely making up her own words. She is quite a delight to us.

Caleb and I are both teaching high school students at Franklin Classical School. Caleb is teaching a full load of classes, but this is his third year teaching some of the courses, so he is able to feel more prepared and go deeper each year he teaches a class. Sometimes I wish I could attend his classes and learn along with the students. But I would probably have a hard time keeping quiet. We are both excited to be able to invest in the lives of high school students, even if we aren't able to see the results right away. We also live closer to school and church now because we sold our house in Spring Hill and moved into Franklin. We live so close that I was able to ride my bike with Beatrice in a bike seat to teach my class twice a week. I have been teaching theater. I just finished producing Neil Simon's Rumors, and now I'm gearing up for Fiddler on the Roof this spring. I find it quite exhausting to direct plays, but I just can't seem to give it up. Perhaps because it's so magical to envision a play and then (through months of work) make it come to life on stage. Beatrice and Caleb were often with me at rehearsals and Beatrice has started to mimic the actors as they rehearse, and mime their actions as they move. Oh my.

As we continue to depend of God's grace and help to raise Beatrice we are also pursuing adoption. We had just started the process of adoption for twin boys from Ethiopia this July when we found out I was pregnant with twins. We were floored, confused and delighted. We decided to put our adoption plans temporarily aside and focus on the pregnancy. In September we lost the twins, and I was no longer pregnant. This was not only confusing, this was devastating. We now believe that we must fight even harder to create and raise our Christian family. We believe we are called to to stand up and raise Christian men and women in of our home. So we are hard at work to bring our Ethiopian babies home. We need to earn $14,000 to send our paperwork to Ethiopia to get our referral, plus more to finalize the adoption. We are going to do everything that we can to send our paperwork to Ethiopia by February 1, 2009. We have decided not to be overwhelmed by the money, but believe that God is in control and we are simply called to be faithful.

So, during this advent season we are thinking not only of the incarnate Christ in the manger, but we are celebrating his finished work on the cross and in heaven so that we can be adopted into his family of grace. We are struck and humbled by an opportunity to imitate the character of God and adopt orphans and bring them into the covenant of grace. Praise be to God!

Love,

Caleb, Rebecca and Beatrice
Advent 2008

Blogging for Ethiopia

2008-11-14T05:10:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time, Caleb and Rebecca got married. They moved to Franklin so they could hang out with Dave and Danielle, eat food at the Wilburs, take walks in Pinkerton Park, and enjoy nice long Tennessee autumns.

Then came Sasha, the mountain hound. She mostly sleeps, but when she is fast, she runs like a horse

After that came Beatrice, the ladybug. She enjoys yogurt, picture books, and strollers.

Now we want to adopt two baby boys from Ethiopia.